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Why A Toast Is Not A Speech

So, you’ve been asked to give a toast at wedding? Don’t panic! Here are some helpful tips.

First and foremost, some people call it a speech, but it’s really a toast. Why do I mention this? Because a speech is long, and a toast is not. You may be a wedding party member or a parent, and while you may know the couple very well, the intention of a toast is to verbalize your

good wishes to the couple. It should be meaningful, but not drawn out. Your toast should be 3-5 minutes max!

As a wedding professional, I’ve seen my fair share of long-winded stories that started out with “we met in first grade” and proceed to describe their friendship through each season of their lives. While it might be a touching story, during a wedding toast is not the place to tell it.

How many people should be giving toasts? Three at the most. The Best Man/Woman, the Maid/Matron/Man of Honor, and sometimes a parent (if they're hosting the wedding). That's all.

Here’s a good general outline to follow:

  • Hold off on that extra glass of wine before you give your toast.

  • Introduce yourself and let guests know your relationship to the couple. Not everyone will know who you are.

  • Congratulate the couple. Express your happiness and what it means to you to witness their wedding. Talk about the best things about them.

  • Skip those long stories about the couple’s childhoods.

  • Keep the speech about the couple, and address them both.

  • Never talk about old flames, past problems, or embarrassing situations – keep it classy.

  • Keep it light and clean, and approach it with good intentions. It's a wedding, not a roast.

  • Have your toast written down, and practice - don’t wing it.

Raise your glass (invite everyone to do the same) and take a sip - after all, people are waiting to hit the dance floor.


For more detailed information about how to make a great toast, visit the blog of our friends at Synapse Entertainment here!

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1 Comment

Great toasting tips! I like how you said to address both people in the couple👍. The toaster may know one person better, but it is not as effective when only one person is being addressed at a wedding.


Cleveland Wedding Officiant
Wedding Day Management (Day of Coordinator)

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